Each one of us today, at some point or the other, wants a personal counselor who can give us life changing solutions.
But not everyone is privileged in that aspect. When we realize you don’t have anyone to share our problems with, we can always talk ourselves out of our own problems, talk back to our thoughts with rational responses. Maybe we are conditioned to not think straight or maybe our thoughts are temporarily distorted. Let us sit back for a moment and critically evaluate our feelings. Where do they evolve from? Our thoughts clearly! And what is the foundation of our thoughts? Underlying beliefs and assumptions. Not accepting the uniqueness and differences of the people often poses a threat to our mental well-being. Two people can never be the same and situations might never be exactly as we want them to be sometimes.
When things can go haywire, and become overwhelming and the unexpected issues settle in, isn’t it important to secure our sanity? Looking after our mental well-being should be considered as a priority.
What are we supposed to do?
Discipline and train your mind to think what you WANT TO THINK and feel, what you WANT TO FEEL! One doesn’t feel by heart. Feeling purely is a product of your thinking.
How do we go about training and disciplining our minds?
There you go…………………..
First, see if the problem is worth losing your mind! Will the problem define your life? Will it affect you in inconceivable ways? If yes, chart out the possible solutions in a pacified manner and execute the one that’s best for you. If you don’t have an option, go with the flow considering it as an opportunity for learning and building resilience. Quitting is not an option, as you could lose more than you could have gained, had you been patient and resilient in the journey! You could have missed a breakthrough that was on your way, or missed learning to remain calm even in the most treacherous storms, or maybe you just missed learning how to love selflessly!
Secondly, change your basic belief system if the need be. There is no solitary way of exhibiting affection, recognition or even love. No one is perfect either. Each person has their own set of flaws and strengths, their own distinctive ways of expressions. Be it a boss recognizing the hard work of an employee or a man expressing love to his woman. There is no ONE right way.
Acceptance and focus on the goodness of the person and side-tracking their weaknesses often lead to relationship success and primarily lead to your goal of mental wellness. Letting go of the minor weaknesses of people, and concentrating much on their good intentions or traits can help you shift your mood from “Depressive” to “Content”. The habit of NOT generalizing how a particular thing is supposed to be done, how a feeling is supposed to be felt, how a feeling is supposed to expressed, how affection should be displayed, how a life is supposed to be lived, can do you a great favour. Cultivate the willingness to see things as it is, love people as they are, learn to accept and love new ways of expression, new ways of life, and see the beauty in everything and everyone you’re surrounded with.
Now that’s not easy a bit! It comes with practice alone! Each day, pick up the worst scenario or the worst person or the worst relationship according to you, or the things you have failed to notice until now, and start hunting for all the possible good things they have at hand to offer. After a point of time, you’ll be conditioned to see the best things in everything and learn lessons for life that’ll help you in all the areas as you move along.
Third, be a giving bag, full of love, care and kindness. Try to enter a state wherein you have least expectations of any return, whether you give love, give attention, express love, or grant any sort of help. Help for the sake of your happiness and satisfaction, love for the sake of making someone else feel loved. Start taking delight in giving more than receiving. Take delight in their happiness without expecting the same quantum of everything back! Expecting anything back is no less than a transaction you have signed up for. You’ll feel lighter and happier as you go about giving without turning back every now and then, expecting the same. It is much easier to look ahead and walk. If you look back and walk you might just trip!
Fourth, don’t seek external validation. Do not depend on anything and anyone other than yourself to make you happy. Validation isn’t bad; it is affirming and positive. It becomes a problem when it becomes the focus of all you do. In the process of getting validation from the world, you might lose your own uniqueness. Be emotionally independent and love yourself enough. Let the behaviour and words of people NOT affect your peace and joy, NOT bother you to an extent that you feel worthless. If external factors become the basis of your feelings and mood, you’re sure to witness constant episodes of depression. When you are emotionally independent and balanced, you can handle situations too in an efficient way. It is normal to get your feelings hurt, get angry, or feel annoyed by someone else’s actions, but learn to gain control over your emotions. Cut loose yourself, of all the things that are determining your happiness, dictating your emotions other than you. That’ll be the best thing you can do for yourself today! Release yourself! You’ll thank yourself for it soon enough, because it truly is an amazing state to be in.
Fifth, do not compare your life with others. You have some valuable things which they don’t have and they have some, which you don’t have. The accounts are settled. What’s the point envying? Cherish your valuables and let them cherish theirs!
Sixth, pursue hobbies and keep yourself occupied. That keeps negative thoughts at bay.
Along with the above practices, exercise, yoga and meditation are a must. Studies have indicated significant benefits of yoga, exercise and meditation, in curbing the severity of depressive symptoms. It helps train your mind, keep your emotional balance in check and activates the “feel good” hormones. Many people who have taken resort to these good practices, validates the findings of the research.
Following all the mentioned practices with a sincere heart, without a doubt, will undoubtedly help you in attaining your physical, emotional, and mental fitness goals.
Go ahead and try them out with confidence, high hopes and a positive mindset!