All of my pains I hid them under that mask. I appeared to be whole.No one knew that I yearned for something much more than the pleasures of the world, more than what the world offered me.
Yes, you are right. I was greedy.
I had a persistent desire. The desire, to be perfect! Seeking for perfection was not confined within myself, I was even hunting for a perfect company, to be with!
Perfect, a word that barely exists according to the sages.
“Longing for perfection is a utopian vision”they say.
But how could I stop there. It was a baseless conviction for me.
It was something that I had yearned for, from the time I knew what it could bring me!
I strived, struggled through that journey of becoming a perfectionist.
When I am asked what do I want to become, my mind never aligns with my lips. For the lips would utter something that conforms to the standards of this world, that is easy for the world to accept, whereas the mind would vehemently profess ” I wanna become a perfectionist!!!”
I refuse to stop. I refuse to strive.
I’ve promised to myself that I wouldn’t cease to try….
I’ve promised to fulfill this so called “utopian vision” !
I’ve promised to retain hope.
I’d rescue my soul from the blockades that have held me back all this time.
As I head relentlessly towards my vision, I’ve promised to persevere
I’ve promised to sustain and spread the bliss and peace, that the lord has generously, abundantly bestowed upon me!