The very first day when I saw him,
I saw him staring at me.
Every time I saw him, he seemed intimidating to me,
I felt as if we’re possibly going to share some bond
I did not have the nerves to head a conversation
I waited for the right time to arrive,
I was eager to know him and befriend him
For a moment, I even dreamt of going beyond companionship
But as all fantasies don’t turn into reality,
This one too didn’t.
At one point of time we did start talking to each other…
The subject that led to our discourse is now forgotten.
All that mattered was that “we talked!”
Indeed I was glad
But at the same time, was sceptical as to where and how we’d end up.
We started sharing a silent bond that we ourselves did not know.
The kind of relationship we held, was unknown.
But was magnificent and joyous to be in.
Gradually the relationship became expressive and loud.
We knew what we expected from each other.
We knew the boundaries we were supposed to remain in.
Knowingly or unknowingly started having a lot many expectations from this affiliation.
In spite of the confines,
Our relationship sustained for some while…
An anonymous relationship.
A relationship that had no name
That probably had no future
That could possibly be dissolved any moment
And it did get dissolved.
In a way, I never thought it would.
All my hopes were dashed,
My eyes wept
My mind was strained every time, his memory dived into my mind.
My heart ached
And intensely longed to get back to him
My mind knew he would never be mine, he was never mine.
My heart though, wasn’t ready to accept that.
Neither was it ready to part from the memories I had with him.
How I wish things could fall back into their places.
How I wish I could make him mine forever!
But that would be foolish of me, even to have the least thoughts of owing him,
All that we had between us, vanished somewhere …
I do not know where!
If at all I knew, I would’ve brought ourselves back together.
Reason being undiscovered,
I was inquisitive to know what led to our severance
I did make an effort to uncover the reasons,
Lest I knew I’d regret for not having even tried to defend the relationship I valued profoundly!
But it was all in vain.
My efforts went futile.
I know he is lost, and he’d never return.
Sooner or later he’ll become my distant past…
But I know, he’ll still be there…
Somewhere deep down in my heart,
He’ll still be there.